Leaving Portland

Well what can I say? I have never up and left a place so fast in my life. My life is usually a mix of various degrees of chaos but it always seems pretty well organized. I do not know if that makes any kind of sense at all. But this time, there were so many things left hanging. My life is scattered in all sorts of piles while I try to categorize the importance of each thing. And meanwhile trying to inventory every single little item that will go down to Mexico… some day. It is so hard to leave this house. While there was no doubt in my mind from the moment the reality became set that I was leaving, but it did not really hit me how hard I was taking all of this until the time really came to it. I love this house. It hurts me to know that Ruben will probably never see it again. And we were involved from the beginning of construction. There are so many things that in this house that are there because of us.
It is almost impossible to deal with the time frame under which I can talk to and see Ruben. It is so hard to want to say so much and to just hear his voice, and that stupid voice comes on. I have come to hate the woman who did the recording that announces that you have 60 seconds left. Once I am with Ruben everything will be perfect.


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