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OKay... I get that I am kinda being a bitch but really?
Okay. Now if I actually have to sit back and ask myself... "Mindy, do you have anything to really be upset about, or are you just being a bitch?" Then I have probably already answered the question but...
Now I am so grateful to have my car and it has totally changed my life. But... I do not want to drive it all the time. My son's school is very near and easy to get to by bike and he is small enough to fit on the back. So you can imagine my annoyance when I was driving home from dropping Lena off at school and there goes my neighbor off to work on ... wait for it... MY BIKE!
Now to be fair... I was probably not going to take Akilean on the bike today because it is very wet and looks like it will rain a lot more. But still. Why are you going into my yard and grabbing my bike. She had it for almost 2 months when I was in SF and had my family visiting here. Which I did not mind. I told her- I have all the kids so it is no problem. Just please take care of it. It is a brand new bike.
Well, after the 2 months I finally got it back and it had a few little problems- okay fine- whatever. I am not going to say anything. It is just part of having a bike in general but. AAAAAaHAHAHAHAHAA! I am really annoyed. It is already hard to deal with the way that a lot of locals view Americans in that we can simply buy more of whatever it is that we have. Now. I know that we might look like we have more then most- and we do. We were fortunate enough back in the states to 1) have jobs that were able to buy the things that we like, 2) a plethora of stores (word use for you momma! jaja) where you can buy very nice things for crazy cheap prices. - And yes I know- that this is due tot he gluttony of the USA. 3) we had family that were fortunate in their money and many of the things that we have were once theirs or gifts and 4) and this is the real kicker- an incredibly frugal and crafty wife that can find or make cheap things look amazing! This is a stage craft skill that I am glad I have.
But that does not mean that if you break one of my nice looking wine glasses or coffee mugs that I can run out and grab a new one. I live here too remember? Just like you. My husband makes the same money as everyone else and my rent is the same and so is my food. Only difference is that at every turn I am paying just a little bit more then most others might because once again there is this idea that we Americans have stashes of money in our pockets.
Anyway. I am just a little pissed about it. Again. I know that I was not going to use it today but I am just annoyed that she keeps going into my yard and taking it. Now if it had just been a few times- hey can I use your bike really fast? We do that with our neighbor- we have gone into his yard and used the little bbq before. Things like that. But not every time I cook. I mean... sorry but buy a bike. And the reason she does not have one is the last 2 have been stolen and gotten broken. So why would want to hand over my bike. just because I have a car does not mean I do not want or use my bike.
Okay. End of rant. Now I just have to wait till she gets home to tell her to stop taking it. Even better- get a new bike lock and take away the option. But even the constant asking me if she can borrow it is driving me crazy.
13 comments:
I can understand this. Overall the understanding of 'borrowing' things and personal property amongst Mexicans are very different than ours. I have family who 'borrow' things constantly so that they never have to buy their own. Problem is, they hardly ever ask, they just take, they don't take care of it, so it becomes, lost, broken or missing and I have to replace it, and the cycle starts all over again. I hate having to put everything under lock and key, especially from family, but like you, I don't have the money to replace the things. I would suggest confronting the neighbor and putting a lock on it. Locks to wonders to get results here.
start charging her...I think the lock would be a good first warning. I think it is both a cultural thing and a people thing. Some people are just opportunist and it doenst bother them one bit to use anything or anyone.
Aye, yi, yi...can you hide the bike somewhere out of sight? In Guaymas I lent my ironing board to a neighbor and she brought it back the same day. With a big smile and a muchas gracias. But it was broken and she didn't even acknowledge that she had broken it!
I think that is crazy and you have every right to be going nuts by now!!! I can´t believe some ppl, no manners. Geez!!!
Good luck with that :)
I know how you feel as we have a pool and I swear everyone just thinks we have no life and they can just come on over and use it whenever they want!! Drives me crazy!!! LOL!! Then I come home and my floors are all dirty from the kiddos walking all over with their wet feet!!! Hahaha, now I sound like a bitch, but I just want ppl to ask sometimes!! Hahahaha...so I get it, I do!!!
I know what you mean. I try not to be too possessive of my property, but Mexico strains my generosity. My land lady told me the young man who delivers water to my house keeps asking when I will return. I thought: "How nice." Until I heard why. He is under the impression I am bringing him a computer. Just because I am such a nice guy -- I guess.
I have a friend who believes that all of these distinctions are cultural. That Mexico has been a quasi-feudal society for so long that people see anyone who appears to own things as a potential patron. Of course, that theory seems to be a one-way street. Try treating someone as a serf and see how far you get. And rightfully so.
People will inevitably take advantage of other's generosity, and therefore you have to be..... a bitch! It does not come naturally for me either. And I personally don;t think you are overreacting. Buy a bike lock! Teach your neighbor some humility!
Hmm tough call! If she borrows it once or twice a day... not cool.
If she borrows it once or twice a week and lets you use her grill, sounds cool to me. (but she should definitely ask)
Just say,NO! with smile...
Understand your feeling.
All the time I lived in Iowa, I never had things go missing even when my sons brought their friends over to the house. Since I've been in Mexico, I've been robbed by a fellow teacher named Edward Mendez Cadena or Edward Cadena. My friend was robbed of her jewelry by her housekeeper. My other friend has been broken into twice. And last weekend my houseguest stole my makeup. I've had it. I no longer want people in my house. I asked Sergio if Mexicans steal from each other? Or just us Americans?
You have every right to be upset. I think you should just talk to her and explain that she needs to ask to use the bike, because there are days that you will want or need to use it. Then head on down to your local hardware shop and buy a lock! :)
I have just have to add that borrowing things and being robbed is as common a problem in the US as it is in Mexico. (These are the only two countries I have lived in, but I am sure it happens everywhere!)
Our neighbor is a hairdresser, she started borrowing my husband's clippers to cut her dad's hair, then she would keep them for a week or more each time, using them for her business. The last time she asked to use them,I told her that I had burned out the motor trying to clip the dog's hair.
I don't mind lending stuff but not when I am always the lender and never the borrower. Then I just feel used.
What Mexicans do is say "yes, but" yes you can borrow my bike but not right now, I need to use it. Yes, you can borrow my bike but I need to take it to be fixed first. I'll bring it over when you can use it. Then get a lock and put it away in the house.
You aren't a bitch, you are feeling used and are upset because it goes against your generous nature.
regards,
Theresa
I disagree with Kristan's 2nd comment... "borrowing" without permission in ANY country is the same as stealing!!!
No one in the states who "borrowed" someones car without permission would get away with wrecking it! What's the dif in a bike or a car? The price of it?
Nor would coming onto someone's property and "borrow" (steal) any other item be acceptable!!!
If you have to lock it up, then lock it up!!!
And just say "NO"! And don't think you need an excuse to say no!
Linda
Isla Chica
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