it is not that I cannot... it is that I do not want to.

I have lived in a time of women and I have been blessed with the education of women that not only are we the equals of men but that in may ways we are their superiors.  We do things that men cannot.  We literally take things from our own bodies and create a new  creature.  A blessing and miracle indeed.  So it is with this very forward think inking mind that I say the following sentance. ..........................................  I  NEED RUBEN! 

Let me rephrase.  It is not that I need him.  I do not need him to make me something more then I can be myself but I need him to be my full potential.   The potential that I already have but he draws out of me. I desire him.  He makes me better.  He actually makes me want to be better then I want to make myself and be better for the world aroundme- my kids being the first effect.

I love myself so much.  I am the very best friend that I will ever have in the entire world.  I already know this.  There are those ladies that are blessed with wonderful friends.  And while I do feel so very blessed to have the wonderful friends that i do... there is only 1.  Only 1 whose opinion could actually sway me.  My own! And I NEED HIM!  Not to live and function but to be the best me. 

All of my dearest friends know 3 facts about me.  1)  I love and accept anyone and their opinions, but I will not be subject to them.  2)  you, I and all those around us are due and deserving of love, compasion and respect  and all of the very best emotions that we, as humans, can share. and 3) that I am all devoted to my love, Ruben.

While not an ideal start in the fairy tale sense... from the moment (and I literally mean the moment I saw him) I knew. ..

I knew that he was meant to make me happy and that I was meant to make him happy and reach his full potential as well.

I say this as I have been in my home for a week with my kids stressed- working- making school lunches and juntas and all of the rest that makes life obnoxious and wonderful in the same second.  And this I can do.  I can do it by myself.

This is not something that I doubt or question.  It is that I simply do not want to do anything with out him.

He is - as they say.... "my essence" (Thank you once again Shakespeare for saying what I could not and in fewer words and ones far more gracious then my own.)  He is my everything. 

I look forward to my next tattoo that is a love letter to him. " I love you because I know you, beginning to end, first to last, together forever."

How did I get so lucky that after 10 years I am still madly - and I mean that sort of drive you bonkers- jump in your through - everything is simply better when he is around sort of love.

Not everyone has that.  And I do.  And I am so thankful and happy about it.  and he will be home in my arms so soon. 

I was reading today- while missing him the post that  spurred our sudden move to Mexico.  The call that said... "hey, by the way, the love of your life is not coming home tonight."  And you know what....??? I do not even care.  All I need-- Scratch that-- all I want is our family.

I am the very best version of me when I am with him.  and he will be home so soon.  Only 11.7 more hours- dependiong on traffic. jaja.

3 comments:

On Mexican Time said...

awww.... if only everyone could find their Ruben! LOL!! I mean that seriously as I know too many ppl that are in relationships where they just aren't happy!!

It's just nice to read/hear your story Mindy!!! Ohh...and he should be there now!!!

Amanda said...

Beautiful!!!!!

Calypso said...

Nice...a very lucky fellow indeed - your man.

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