Just a warning... this is more pg13...

I must say that after more then a several conversations with various friends I have come to realize what an incredible life, sex and other wise Ruben and I have. Luckily for me, almost no one in my family, other then my mother... reads this blog. And she knows when to say LaLaLA LaLaLa good for you honey La La LALALALA!!! Sort of a strange place to reach with your Mom. But anyone with a relationship as open and honest as the one my Mom and I are lucky enough to have... you know.

There have been many times in my relationship that I thought that I was being crazy, that i did not have my head on my shoulders... many of those moments were after incredible experiences with Ruben. Then I realized something.... you cannot have true intimacy... true love... true acceptance without those moments.

I am sure there are many people who would sit back and chalk this up to solely sexual moments. And while this and almost every morning are fabulous!!! There are others. Ruben showed a picture of me today of Akilean being taken out of my stomach.... feet still in my ribs but there to show the world. And he talked about it with such passion. there is no other word. Lust, love, obedience, respect, love, admiration.... everything was in his words. "Look what my love did and endured for me... and look at how beautiful she is... and how beautiful they are... how lucky am I." He said so much while saying so little.

That is what makes me so crazy when people tell me to live in the states in order to make it easier on us. Could I make more money... yeah in a day the a would in a week. Would it be worth it... not in a million years. And while I will always love the 2 men that prepared me for my eternal fate... Brian who brought me to the faith and reality of life that I needed and he was so proud of. And Chris, the man that showed me that family is everything. And that families love being that for each other.

I found him. I know it is stupid to say so cheesy... the moment I saw him. But it was. The moment that I saw him, the world ended.

I remember a table sitting there from about noon- in another servers section... that server, Tio as we called him at Chevy's, was an older man with a family, out of place with the young 20 somethings that rome. At shifts end he handed his table to Ruben whom, like me, had worked a double shift. That table, determind to take home his number, which was a common goal, I mean he is..."that hot waiter at Chevy's" asked him... Even 7 Years later I remember the day... They asked him "What kind of girl do you want to marry? " He (I'm sure) gave him the look that drove and does drive me wild... pointed at me and said... "one just like that." It was that night he told me he loved me and hoped that this was more to me then some restaurant fling.

I was almost mad.. ow could he think I would throw away all that I had. And I had a terrific man. One that to this day has mine and Ruben's respect. How could he not mean the world.

And tonight, listening to friends bitch about their lives, their sex lives, their partners honesty. And while I, like all other men and women have plenty to bitch about.... nothing that will ever last 12 hours. Every argument is easy to over come. Even when you sure you never want to speak again... you fight. It is the only thing worth fighting for.

I just feel so lucky. While Ruben and I have had some good ones... I mean some really good fights. Our passion is the issue. It is what gets us through, it is what takes us there in the first place. And it is what we we will tell our grandchildren about in our 80's.

I remember my great grandfather back in Provo Utah, telling me about his wife. All the good and bad that he remembered. And you know what sticks out to me. He loved it all. The Good, the bad, the ugly, the true, the love of his life. Life mine. I love him, even for all the bad, but more for all the good and bad that has not happened yet.

I love him. More the I have ever loved anyone. I am so lucky. He is the one who cements my faith as it is based in love.


JJ said...

Maybe you should send this post to your family and friends that tell you to come home. Sometimes when you just let it flow out of you (like I am assuming this did) it makes much more sense. Then maybe they'd realize that sometimes we just have to vent about the craziness life in Mexico is, but it doesn't mean you're not happy. :)

Rosas Clan in Tulum said...

I do wish they understood that more. I mean, the bad would not bother me if I was not so madly in love with it all. You know... once you have been here, you know why people are willing to put up with the downsides. And your right, this one almost typed itself. As I noticed from all my typos the next morning.

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