The Rosas-Standring Family

Jordan and Sammy (our friends originally from SF but now live in Oxkutzcab) and their kids came to visit us. We had such an amazing time. At first we just hung out at the house and caught up. It has been many years since all 4 of us were together. Then we decided to head down to the beach to get in a few minutes of ocean and make a fire for dinner.
Well, when we got there- the kids wasted no time running in to the waves and dancing on the beach.
And the boys wasted no time hauling boulders and large pieces of wood and things that we needed for our fire. As for us wives (and Lola :) we got right to the business of setting up our cozy little area to sit in.
It was great. The boys made a terrific dinner and a perfect fire- the kids were having a blast - covered in the sand and even though it was long after sunset- the moon gave this bright blue light on the beach. And it was really warm. It was great. We ate pork, chicken (possibly turkey legs - not sure)hot dogs and a huge steak. All served with tortilla, grilled onion and salsa. The boys had set up everything that we needed to make a larger bomb fire closer to the ocean and it was a beautiful fire. We even had people come and ask us for our logs so they could start their fire- it was a really fun time.


The next morning after breakfast, we headed off to a cenote that I have really wanted to go to, Cristalino. It is one of the least expensive to get into and considered a local spot more then a tourist location. You can take your cooler, food and everything. It was amazing. So beautiful and as you can see the kids had an amazing time. The water was so clear that you could see all the way to the bottom as though it was 3 feet down. In fact at many places it was much much much deeper then that. There was a beautiful little cave that the kids kept hunting for treasure in. The kids made friends with many locals that made their way though and swam and hung from the rope for hours.


Ruben has as much fun as the kids while jumping from high points to the cheering kids below. It was amazing. The water is fresh and you can feel the minerals in the water. My skin has never felt better. I cannot wait to bring my mom and brothers here when they come. They are going to love it. Kennedy and Akilean (like usual- had all the people oooing and awing over them) it is so cute.

We had a pretty good laugh yesterday. I took the kids up to Playa del Carmen for the day to help Barb and Shannon get into their hotel and we hung on the beach. We found a little spot and sat down and sent the kids off to play in the water. About 45 minutes later a much older woman and her 2 friends came and sat in the beach chairs they had rented behind us. After a few minutes of her bitching to her friends, she leans over to us and says "you know you guys, it was very rude of you to sit here right in front of us." Totally shocked that this person felt some entitlement to the whole beach I simply told her "mame, i am sorry you feel that way but you rented your chairs, you have your chairs, and beyond that you really have no say at all in where we sit." Barb and Shannon were pissed. It was funny to us all at the same time. I got up to go with Lena for a few minutes and this woman moves her chair and covers where I was sitting and all of my stuff. Determined to not let it bother me I said "mame, i am very sorry if we bothered you and disturbed your day." this is where I got pissed. Her response was "well, you did, my whole day is ruined." First of all - not accepting someones apology is just plain rude. all I could say to her is how sorry I felt for her as that is a terrible way to live. Then Barb and Shannon and I went on with our conversation. Barb asked me if a lot of people were like that. I said that Ruben and I have had the experience that people who come on vacation have some sense of entitlement to more then what is true and fair. She interjects with .." I live here. and that I should rent a chair." I told her I live here as well and sitting in the sand is no problem for me. She then suggested that I got to the public beach. I politely reminded her that I was a public beach and that there is no where on the beach that I would sit that would not be in front of someone- she said that that would be fine- but not her. So the real issue was she felt entitled and that her comfort or preference was more important the the other people on the beach. She then repeated that she lived here. I then told her that if she was from her she should be smart enough to not come to 10th and 5th on the busiest week of the year if she does not want people around her.

Not wanting to be around the very negative environment that this woman carried around her, we got up to get a bite. Many of the people around us were simply laughing at this woman who was being so rude and high faulting. I had a good talk with a woman near by, some jewelry store owner who splits her time between New York, Playa del Carmen and Mexico City (where her husband is from) After commenting on how beautiful and obviously special my kids were (which just made my day) she said that she wanted to get up and tell the woman to shut up and stop being a bitch but then she said to herself..."no, do not be a New Yorker" we both chuckled and I simply said thank you for the thought but that the difference between that woman and me is that she lives her life that negative and I simply do not have time for it. After we held back Shannon enough to where she was not going to bitch slap this woman... we decided to send the woman a drink. We sent her over a glass of wine, watched her try to see who had sent it and then I walked over and told her that we meant no offence and that we hope she has a better day. What I was really saying was ..."do you have any idea how much easier it would have been for you to simply be nice." She could have simply said to us in the beginning, hey guys, would you mind scooting over a little bit, we would not even have batted an eye lash. We would have happily moved over, but she chose to be a bitch. If there is one thing that I have learned from my behavior in my younger years and watching some of the people in our lives now, it is that these people do not approach things in a positive way. It is undercut, rude, manipulated and many times just plain bitchy. Oh well. Hopefully that glass of wine chilled her heart a little.

Moral: do not be bitch and always accept someones apology.

As with every start to the New Year myself, like everyone else is running around analyzing their lives trying to figure out how they are going to fix the things they do not like. I think the biggest thing I want to change this year is not so much the end result but the journey. I am not sure if I will ever reach each of the goals that I set for me and my family, but I definitely want to change to way I try to reach it. I think 1) I'll have a much better chance of getting there and 2)If I do not reach it I want enjoy the time I had while trying. Below are the traditional "new Years Resolutions and then their translated journey oriented counterparts.

1) lose 20 lbs. Okay- this may never happen. I mean I live in the land of fresh corn tortillas, beans, rice and lets not forget Tequila.

2) Do not yell at my kids. - Again, this might not happen. But I am going to try.

3) Become a citizen. And get the kids citizenship.

4)Build my house. Yeah this would be killer. But then there is the reality of being broke, being busy, being in Mexico and not knowing the process here yet.

5) Start our business. Well, this is really dependant on #3 and again, for the same reasons as #4, broke, busy and having no idea what we need to do.

6) Clean house everyday. Every mother is laughing right now. This is impossible to do even if you had 8 hands, let alone the failing 2 that I have.

So here are the translated daily goals I will have every morning.

Today I will...

1) Live a more active lifestyle. When I hang the laundry on the roof, do some stretches and yoga poses and some sit up. It does not have to be a whole huge routine. This is where I have failed in the past. Just a few moves, but frequently. Nothing that is going to make me immediately hate it. I need to get a bike and get over my fear of the kids on their bikes. Simply play more!

2) Have more positive times with the kids. More cooking together, more reading together, more working on the computer together. I think I will get lucky and that this will turn into more well behaved kids and therefore will need less yelling. I get way too stressed out about the kids being well behaved. I think that this one goes hand in hand with #1.

3) Make steps to attain permanent status. Okay... one thing I have learned here is that very little can be accomplished in just 1 trip. It usually requires several trip. And I am not just talking immigration, but trips to the bank, trying to pay my electric bill, EVERYTHING! So this is better served as breaking it down. Get docs translated to Spanish (by a certified translator no less) Get the kids done as they are more a matter of paperwork. And at least get what ever the first requirements are for citizenship, satisfied.

4) Get out with Ruben and start clearing the land, get docs from Ejido for land and start title process. Also get bids for the house design so we know what we need to do.

5) Work on website and business plan This is also a big part of #3. I am going to do a travel tourism blog about Tulum and try to generate revenue. And Ruben and I want to get our business plan finished.

6) Enjoy the small steps that if taken every day will remain small and enjoy the process rather then loath it. Okay- this is something that in trying to be a domestic goddess - 1 handed- I want to wake up early (this is my favorite time of day here)- And since the traditional sense of meditation does not work for me, I realized that while I am doing my dishes and laundry - this is when I have found myself meditating. I have to focus so hard on what I am doing as to not tweak my hands that I cannot really focus on much else. Every other worry gets put to the side.

7) Be better to my body. I need to drink more water, use more natural products and take care of my skin. I think again I need to enjoy the process more if I give into it rather then loath it. Eat with a lot more fish and even more veggies.

So long story not so short... There is my start to 2009! Keep posted to see how I do.