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Mayan Ruins
Yesterday was a day full of being home sick. But today was a new day. We woke up in the morning and headed over to the ruins for the day. It was absolutely beautiful. The ruins were built on a cliff above the Caribbean Sea. There is access to the beach below so obviously we went into the ocean. The waves are really good here because of the shape of the rocks. It was really fun. Plus going on Sundays is always good because it is free admission for Mexicans. So I was the only one that had to pay the 48 pesos. I cannot wait to get my papers.
Where is my mom, where is my T?
I am sitting here in my house, very sad because of some current situations and all I want in the world is to talk to my mom or Tara. I need some sanity. I need to tell my current feelings and mood and have one of these 2 women-- and only these 2 women- they are the only ones that get me, that truley love me. Even those moments when you wonder about the sanity of the person that you are with because you already know that they must be out of their mind to be in love with you in the first place... these women... these women know me and love they love me any way. For all of your faults- they love you and understand you and somehow all of your mishaps after the moment of enlightenment- only go to make you more celestial. Well... I am sitting here, without enough money to pay for my cell phone, with 2 sleeping kids so I cannot go to town to call. All I want is to talk to them. To hear, from women whose opinion I trust that I am not crazy. Since the moment I left Portland that is all I have heard. How I was stupid, following my heart like a little girl, not thinking about the real world. Well, I am here, in Mexico, missing my dearest friends and my mom. The people who knew me and loved me anyway. And then there is everyone else. Who even if they love me... make me remember that it is in spite of...?
Mexican despair
I am sitting here totally sad and depressed wanting so much to talk to friends and family and there in no one. I do not even have enough money on Ruben's phone to ask anyone in my family to get online. This is by far the most alone I have ever felt.