Well, it has finally happend.

Ruben and I have always planned on moving to Mexico. We always knew that if we wanted to get him papers that we would have to pack up the kids and move to Mexico. And that is totally fine. I am even excited. But in this situation, Ruben is not here. He is not sleeping at home in my bed, he is not sneaking up on the kids while they play in the backyard, and he is not standing in the kitchen - picking at all of the food that I made for dinner while I try to get everything on the table. He is not with me. And it is so hard. To have the level of happiness that you can achieve in one day suddenly cut into half. I am not upset at all about the move. I think that the timing is perfect. I mean, the kids are young and very able to adapt to change. They have been nagging us to teach then Spanish. They will be able to pick up the language so quickly, and friends so quickly. Not to mention that we were just about to renew all of the stuff for the business. We would have put down some hefty money and we would have been locked in for 2 years.

I am having a really hard time realizing that I am going to lose my house, my truck, my credit, all of the things that I have worked for are going to be obliterated. And not even because of something that we did. There was no business failure. Even after I lost my job we kept things going really well. And in this market... we were doing okay. But this- this totally hit me from left field.

After realising where he is- I go from scared out of my mind- to angry- so angry. Angry to the point that I was going to let him sit in there for the day or so. But then, after hearing his voice, I wanted him home for me to yell at rather then sitting in jail. Soon it becomes clear, he is not going to be coming home. He is going to be going to Mexico. This was always that crazy, "it could happen" story. And now here I am, in my living room that is full of boxes, clearly labeled for the manje de casa that I will eventually be able to do - once I move with nothing and then request to move there - from there:) and then come and move all of my stuff about a year later. Fun huh. Not to mention the crazy amount of work you have to go through to get all the paper work. We need marriage license and birth certs to be apostle at the capital of the state that issued it. Fine and dandy for here in Oregon, but we have to go to SF switch short form for long form certs and then drive to Sacramento to have a special seal put on it. How crazy is that.

I am much happier and more relaxed now that we have decided that I am going to fly with the kids. Now my biggest worry is to get all of my stuff sold. Well, I had better get on.

2 comments:

jameslivtopia said...

What a difficult and troubling post. Good luck to all of you. It really was worth it to read this a few times. You won't regret moving to Mexico for one moment.

The Rosas-Standring Family said...

Thank you so much for your comment. We have made the move and things are going better.

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